Friday, May 29, 2015

New Job

Well, I made it to Friday without ANY accidents.
I is so very proud of myself.

Now lets get down to business.
 Our Mayors, Murphy and Stanley begged me to fill in for Taffy
as secretary while her is away on family business.
So of course, I said I would afters I laughed hysterically.

*do not gets alarmed by da above pikture...I was on break*
I was doin' no' makin' paper airplanes.typin' of any kind.

Nows da most important thing I hads to do was make me a supply list
and go SHOPPING...on their card.

I gotted all my stuffs and decorated my new office.

Here, I shows ya'll my office...

Ain't it purty?
Fur some reason I was told I was not allowed to has a dart
board for so I gots me a velcro one. And by golly, they
sticks to everything...sorry Stanley.
I asked if I could hs a chandelier but they was all like..."HEEEEEEELL NOOOOO!"

I also gots me a trophy from da thrift store.
It says "Employee of the Year"...Bwhahahahahaha!

Nows can ya'll sees dat cabinet behind my desk?
Yep, dats right. 
It be da same cabinet me and Pip stoled from Bertie on Pip's World Tour
(I loves you Angel Pip)

And of course no office is complete without beer and cheetos...or at least
my office anyways. And piktures of my beautiful self and my BFF Pip.

I hopes ya'll enjoyed tourin' my new office.
Nows, if anybuddy is allowed to use matches we needs to has a bonfire
withs all these files cuz they is REALLY gettin' in my way.

Secretary Puddles

Friday, May 22, 2015

PSA from da Puddles

Happy Friday ya'll!
Welcome back to anudder edition of da Puddles' blog.
(da only place where we can make your hoomans feel SMART)

Today furiends, family, and stalkers, I want to shares a very 
important PSA withs ya' may just save your lives.
(serious face)

Ya;ll knows i has been known to swing from a chandelier or ceiling fan
a time or twleve. And since I came back to Blogville I thought it might be a good 
idea to get some practice in fur all da Blogville drunken keg pawties, pole dancin',
margarita madness mondays, functions and tea pawties that we is so famous fors.

Take a look at da below photos.
Excuse da quality of da photos, I tooks them withs da IPudds phone. 

Yep folks, your eyeballs ain't deceivin' you.
Stay right theres and let me biggify it for you so you can sees it in all it's gloriousness.
Wait, hang on...I'm gettin' it.
Okays, heres we go....

Dat light fixture came from da ceilin' fan.

Ya'll, as I was fallin' from da sky my life flashed before my eyes.
I could have died, I almost died.
But I escaped anudder my near death experience by da skin of my toofers.

Nows, for future informationals....
 swing from anything dat my ENGINEER Dad installed. and sound

Friday, May 15, 2015

meet da neighbors

Today, I wants to let's da whooooole entire world  knows 
what was goin' on while I was on blog vacation.


Cornelious...aka Neil
* drinks scotch and smokes cigars

Well, ain't it obvious?
Mum has been havin' an affair withs da neighbor dogs!!!!!
(WHY MUM, WHY?????)

Nows da most disturbing part was dis photo I founded...

...even My Girl has been involved in da conspiracy.
(drops head in shame)

Nows even though I is totally hurt, broken hearted, ashamed, and
embarrassed, these be da neighbors everybuddy can only dream of...
...they not likes da Stoopids if ya'll recall.
These is da Good neighbors.
I be all like "HEEEEELL YEA, FINALLY!!!!"

They is Ms. Audry and Mr. Dennis and they has 3 hairless kids as well.
Lemme just say they is so fabulous dat Ms. Audry has been trustd to 
come check on us if da oppurtunity arises...she looooves me...and her gets my beer for me too.
Hers even calls to check on us too...usually me, cuz i is always da one dat needs checkin' on
if you knows what I mean.
Dis is me, da only dog ya'll needs to remember.

Anyways, i just wanted everyone to knows how I has been treated whats been up. to therapy

Friday, May 8, 2015


it's me Puddles Duddles Rainwater...not sures if ya''' remembers me or not
but i is da cute little dachshund dat likes beer and cheetos...
and has her very own portrait in a jail cell, i is special dat way.

I had a heart to to heart talk withs mum da udder day and i telled her i must get backs to my blog cuz i is famous and if i not blog then i would not be famous no mores...then i would has no reality show
in my future and i has to make beer money somehows.
Plus dis might be a smashin' way to meet Ellen
Obviously hers felt bad fur me so i HERES.
(Mum spilled acetone on da keys so they work good no mores)

Anyways, all is well heres.

Brudder Albert still be a dork...and hairy.
a few weeks ago him haded to go to da vet cuz he had a partial herniated disc.
He be much betters now cuz i tooks really good cares of him..ahem, cough, cough.

and Sissy Whitney... still a bitch but worse these days.
Dont let dat smilin' face fool ya'll.
Her was diagnosed withs dementia a few months ago,
her has gotten pretty darn aggressive, her has even bit My Girl and her friend, Miss Lily
My Girl cant go no wheres near Whitney
Her paces even more and srares off into space. it be really sad.
But mum has her back.

And me, da Puddles...
I command you to bring me cheetos

...well, I is still perfect.
Still got da eyes dat can compel anyone or anything to do whatevers...hehehehe.

So to makes a long story short we will be posting once a week until da Girl
gets out of school. but i will be commenting through out da week...
you knows, just to make sures your days are complete...hehehe.

Anyways, i has missed ya'll so terribly much.
but i is back fur da long haul...whatevers dat means.

Puudles...the Original