Monday, November 18, 2013

Mr Pee-can Tree Thievin' Man Camed Back

I hopes everybuddy had a wonderful weekend!
Mine was...ummm, well, it was intresting.
So naturally I has a story.

It all beganed Saturday when Mr. Pee-can Tree Thievin' Man
camed back to my house to finish stealin' my stuffs.
Oh and by da way, mum was too slow withs da camera so
I broked out da crayons to draw ya'll some piktures.

Dis is a temporary fence my dad putted up so
Mr. Pee-can Tree Thievin' Man coud gets his giant
truck into my backyard. It is also useful in keepin'
three doxies in their backyard so they not out raomin' da 'hood
and gettin' in trubles.

Nows Mr. Pee-can Man was in his bucket thingamajig in his giant
truck which was in da driveway.

Then alls of a sudden my dad hearded Pee-can Man screamin'.
(Mum, well, her was fidgetin' withs da Christmas Tree lights cuz they done
went out agian and her was oblivious to everything around hers.)
So my dad took off like a bat outta hell.

While Pee-can Man was screamin' "HEEEELP ME!!!!",
my dad was yellin' "OOOOH SHIIIIT!!!!"

And then we all heard KAAAAAABAM!!!!!!!
Mr Pee-can Tree Man's giant truck doned rolled and smashed into our fence
and rolled through da yard...with him still in da bucket.
Broke da fence in four places.
Apparently my fence stopped him from rollin' down into da railroad tracks.

And mum...
...was cryin' fur da fence.
Her kept thinkin' hers would has to take us back out on leashes to pee FUREVERS.
Gee mum, don't worry...Mr. Pee-can Tree Man is okays, I is sure
he appreciates your bein' all concerned bouts his well bein'.

Not to worries, Mr. Pee-can Tree Thievin' Man was alright and my fence
was back up in a mttr of minutes, it not look purties but it's up.
(dats what happens when you steal my pee-can trees).

Now I will just sit back and see what fascinatin' stuff happens dis week.

Puddles...huntin' fur da last of da pee-cans

Friday, November 15, 2013

All Night Long

Well, I reckon we has all made it to Friday.
Unfortunately Friday's with Chrissy has been postponed to Monday
on account of what has been goin' on at my abode.

Now, years ago my mum and dad moved there bedroom upstairs
and their master bedroom was turned into da junk room...also known as da Blue Room.
They thoughted it would be easier fur My Girl to play in theres
but hers never did, her played in da living room.
So da junk room it became.

Nows, bouts 2 weekends ago da peeps decided to move their 
bedroom back down stairs. I don' knows, so they could be 
romanticals I guess...BWHAHAHAHAHAH...
I kid you and da title has nuttin' to do withs da post.
They is too old to be romanticals anyways...and da thought makes me wanna hurl.

"Why you do dis woman?"

See da problem is dat my bedroom is right beside mum and dad's bedroom.
And all freakin' night long Brudder Albert sits by their door and whines and moans
and whines and moans and bangs and scratches at their door.

Did I happen to mention how loud he whines?
I can not sleep withs him actin' likes a two year old with separation anxiety.
(he be all stuck to mum like a turd on a shoe)
Never mind bouts mum and dad...
...they ain't sleepin' eithers but I require more sleep then they does.
I can hears mum in her room sayin' Showtime words...
...furiends, those are much, much different than HBO words.

"Brudder Stop it, I is tryin' to blog about you"

Nows they refuse to let him in da bedroom cuz he will just want in their bed and
him not allowed cuz him might get stoopid and jump off and him has a
bad back and well, dat just wouldn't be good.

If ya'll sees a sleep deprived woman (mum has been gettin' up at 3am and NOT goin' back to bed) walkin' down da street with baggy, black eyes and prolly pants on backwards
and stringy hair, it be my mum...tell her hellos fur me.
Oh and tells her not to come back home til her do sumptin with her dog.

Nows I gives you a preview of Chrissy.
She done went and befuriended Mini Puddles.
Not good ya'll, not good.

Puddles...still tryin' to sleep

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

A Day of Mourning

Furiends, da day befores yesterday...which was Monday...
I was in a state of mournin'.
It was one of da worstest days evers and I is includin' all my 
allergic was a terrible day fur me.

It all started withs me tryin' to takes a nap.
(why do my naps always gets interrupted?)
But I heards all dis commotion outside.
And OMD was I evers shocked at what I seened.
Out my mum and dad's bedroom window I seened DIS....
  A MAN!!!!!!!
"What da hell he be doin'?" I thoughted to myself

And then briefly laters...DIS!
He was all up in my Pee-can tree!

So bouts a gazillian hours laters they lefted my yard and I finally
was ables to go check out my yard to sees what he was doin'.


I screamed likes I has nevers screamed befores.
Believes me, da whole entire 'hood hearded my screams.

Dis is what I seened.

and dis...

I started cryin' uncontrollably.

"WTF Mum?"

I began to reminsce of all da cherished memories of my pee-can tree.
There was da time I planted beer theres, da time Mini me ran into da bank, 
all my hours of diggin' fun, and last but not least...all my pee-can I ated and 
my awesome pee-can pies.
Through time, I learned hows to eat 'em whole...sometimes even withs a worm in 'em.
Ooooooh such wonderful memories.

I just coulldn't takes it anymores, I telled mum I wanted to go in da house.
I was still cryin' and asked hers....
"WHY woman would you has them cut my tree down?"
Hers response was stoopid..."Because it was in bad condition and it could have fallen on the house."
See...stoopid...we has insurance.

Befores I go I must leave you withs a photo of me eatin' pee-cans.

Nows Mr. Pee-can Theivin' man came back da next day so there be
twice as much brush in da yard and he not even done da actual tree yet.

And to make matters worser, ht had to take my fence down so nows I has to
go poop and pee on a leash in da FRONT YARD fur da whole world to see.


Monday, November 11, 2013

Our Christmas Tree Tradition

Hellos furiends!
Friday's with Chrissy was postponed last Friday due to
unforseen circumstances at da Puddles homestead.
Sees, it all started on Thursday when mum gotted all kerazy
and decided to put da freakin' Christmas tree up.
Yes, we has our tree up.

Mum had not been feelin' all spirity and even thoughted bouts NOT puttin'
up a tree dis year. Howevers, My Girl tolded mum dat we had to has a tree cuz it 
was a tradition fur da tree lights to go out. Her sure is a smart one.

Anyways, on Thursday mum got da tree up and two hours later her only had four strands up lights on.
So her was makin' dis an all day process and even drug it into Friday. 
Her kepted puttin' da lights on and takin' 'em back off and then back on and blah blah.
Hers a tad OCD...has to make sures everything is just so.
So Friday on night our tree was completed.
(I won't even mention da times her tooked da ornaments off and redid 'em.)

And heres what our tree looked like on Saturday night., your seein' things right.
I telled mum I was sorry fur laughin' so hard.

Afters MANY MANY MANY HBO words later mum founded da bum strand,
it was da second strand hers put on.
Hers fixed da tree lights.
And so da tradition did indeed continue dis year.
Mum not likes dis tradition.

Oh wells, but I did gets me a new ornament dis year.
It looks just like me doncha thinks?


Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Da Stairs

Good day boys and Girls!

Furst, I wanna congratulate Madi fur her second term as Mayor of Blogville.
As her camPAIN manager, I was worthless but I has been tolded I will still has my
very own jail cell and da key to let myself in when da need arises.
I has anudder one of my stories to shares withs ya'll today.

There I was all alone on da steps.
 I knews right off dat dis was not gonna be a good scenario.
Let's face it, I is always gettin' myself into some sort of situation.
"Dats a long ways down"

"Here goes nuttin"

See, when you is a perfect shaped sausage dog such as myself,
you has to go down da stairs fast.
And when you doesn't then dis is what can happen


And on dis particular day I hads to scream and holler and whine
till somebuddy comes to gots me.
Mum says I sounded likes Charlie Brown's teacher...but in a blender.

Yeppers, you guessed it, I hads to make myself comfortable
til mum stopped laughin' at me.

 "Anyday nows woman"

Eleven minutes later....

 Still heres.

*Disclaimer: I is technically not allowed to go up and down stairs cuz I is specially shaped.
Howevers, da Puddles-Not-Allowed-Upstairs Gate was down so I made my move

Puddles...your perfect shaped dog dat shouldn't be on da stairs

PS: Don't furgets to sign up fur Jazzi's Christmas Card Exchange.
It's total fun balls.
Go heres fur more informationals.

Friday, November 1, 2013

A Holiday Guest

I wanna say thanks to everybuddy dat participated in da Halloween festivities.
And a big thank you to all those dat had a festivity, ya'll all put in so much work
and I absolutely had a BLAST!!!!

Okays, now fur my post in

I was nappin' on da couch, you knows, recoopin' from all da halloween
festivals, when alls of a sudden I heards a rat-a-tap-tap
at my door.
"Hmmm, I wondered, "Who's could dat be interuptin' my nap?"
And then I seened it....OMD...I SEENED IT! 
I screamed,
NOOOOOOOO like I really screamed loud...
...likes a girl!!!!!
I can scream really loud...ask da neighbors.
I seened it outta da corner of my eyeball!
And then to be safe, I looked with both my eyeballs.
And then I was like, "Oh HAAAAYULLL!"
(dat is hell in southern)

Yes, in deed was none udders than....

Chrissy is back and she camed early dis year.
They say she is an Elf on da shelf but it's more like Elf from Hell.
Last years her gotts in ALL sorts of trubles and I not likes dat cuz dat is MY job.

Anyways, I has Chrissy as a holiday guest again dis year and I hopes ya'll
stay tuned on Fridays to sees what her has been doin'.

OH MY DOG.....
WAIT...I has to has a pikture of myself on my post.
It's old but I is just so purties we should all sees it again.

Puddles...hidin' from Chrissy